Armour

I just wanted to write some non-related shit.
here it is.

This is about the funk of rejection - a force I believe motivates 90% of human behaviour.
The other ten percent is sexual urge.

To all the broken hearted and lonely...I feel for you tonight.
I hope things get better for you soon - because I have a feeling that you are something fabulous my friend. This is what I strive to believe and if I can - you can too.


The riffs of the melancholy fill the star-filled black above, cherry glows on my cigarette is all they see of me.

How could you be back here - it's just what you didn't want to be again. You close your eyes and hate yourself for more moments than you realize. The guitars and drums rise from the stereo and rock your soul to sleep. Lyrics that relate, almost beat the tears back inside your sagging skull that stiffens when you breathe out rejection. You never were safe from this.
You feel so stupid and blind - it's all so personal and festering with the truth.
It's over. All over. You lost. I can't believe such a beautiful thing as love, can hold such paradox. Tear my heart out why don't you - I never thought I was using it anyway.

Maybe you took for granted how warm and secure you felt in the cradle of that "terrible relationship". The igloo that protected you from the snow, seemed too tight.
You are a professional grass painter - so it always looks greener on the other side.

So here you are on the outside, feeling those icy winds blast upon your face. Trying not to gag from that sinking feeling in your stomach. You never should have forgotten how bad it was To be alone so maybe you wouldn't be here - feeling like such a dick.
Suddenly, you're not what you thought you could be or even were, it's all revealed now.

Would you step back inside the warm cave of non-chalant peace or battle one more winter , trekking for that final destination; The Land Of Happy Ever After.
I forgot how cold this winter blizzard can be, biting through my skin and ravaging all the warmth inside of me. It's so uncomfortable and no-one wants to spend time helping me out of this cold.
I should've stayed inside - it wasn't much but it was better than this.

Yet I'm adventurer and risk it all I will. I will ask the hard questions and I will be true to the way that I was born to walk and talk. I won't stay in your cabin forever, it's just as risky as the snowstorm. Just because you think I'm not special or that we just "don't work" - that's you out of my direction. It's only the beginning for me though, as that's one less person to waste another one of my sweet precious days. Because I'm beautiful and wonderful and I'm brave enough to live through this and wake up tomorrow knowing that I still have me.
I can't say the same for you. Life is too short and all that jazz but it's also long enough to remember those that do you right and those that bring you down.
Friend or foe, lover or fighter - that's only about them.
You will always have you.
Love yourself. Survive yourself.

Ode to The Bastard (by moi)

I take the pain that you dealt me
With your words that cut so deep
People just don't realize the power of words.
But I'll try to be better because of that.
So I'm not your cup of tea and that stings.
I think I'm doing the best I can.
You don't love me anymore - is that what you said?
I hear so many different things in my head - yet I won't ask for you to repeat it.
How can I retaliate when all I want to do is cry.
Then the games begin as we fancy dance around the words that
ultimately spell goodbye.
You first
No - you first.
All that kind of thing and then maybe not, maybe I'm reading too much into things?
Or maybe it's nightmares that come true?
How long do I have to be out in this cold ?
Heal my heart for just a moment with the hot breath of a forbidden kiss.
I promise not to be confused.
But we all lie.
We never say goodbye until we say "hello" to something better.
When you finally accept that is not each other.
How sad.
You Bastard.

Love HG
XXX