Remember when you were in highschool and every day was a soap opera and sometimes u would almost convince yourself that you would never recover from this or that? But somehow u did.
When the only time your world made sense is when you could listen to your music in the dark as it blasted from the ghetto. All u could do was get angry at why things always have to change. You write it all down and draw those crazy pictures with the lightning bolts and lovehearts on the borders as you try and grapple with your own expanding and oozing brain. Maybe you smoked to be cool or maybe you were the easiest girl in school but we all knew that it didn't matter so much cos we all had lives to lead of our own. So what fucking changes ?
Everyone told you that these are the 'best years of your life' like they have figured out that living good can still give you cancer.
Even though it was intense when we kissed for the first time or wondered whether we would ever be cool enough to be liked by you and talked to by him/her , somehow most of us got over it and went out and tried to do it all on our own. Just don't point out that you gotta take your happy pills and dance around what you want for your life as you whimper that it just ain't what it used to be. Maybe you got yourself out of those railroad dental braces and straight into a huge fucking credit card debt. Maybe you burst from your tiny trainer bra and became the biggest slut ever. Maybe you grew up knowing that Mummy and daddy never had a clue and that daddy didn't wake so early just to let the sun out of it's cage. You realise he just woke up to have a coffee and moan about how hard it is to be straight - just like so many people you know.
You don't listen to the music anymore and you don't chew taffy like you used to but it still tastes the same to the little people in the world. You like the highschool version of life - where the sexiest teacher in school smelt as nice as her blouse looked. You trim your gardens and curse the trees that leave mess on your SUV - you don't climb those trees anymore and yet you wonder why the world looks different from the ground?
I never get tired of the memories. I just need to make get outside and live life, not sell out to the idea that that best years of my life... are fucking had.
I don't believe it anymore