Thanks everyone for all your contributions to our Jane discussion - Jane has so far only sent Peter four text messages and is going to give herself a weeks holiday from thinking about any man at all. At this stage of her co-dependancy, a week is a major accomplishment. We will be checking back on Jane as she follows your suggestions and see how it's working for her.
Today I'm look at Internet Cheating and hopefully share some experiences with each other.
I"ll start by confessing that I have cybered online in the past, sometimes when I've been with a partner, most of the time when I'm single and on the hunt. In fact I'm yet to be convinced that all affairs are the same - how could this be when everyone is so unique and raised with different belief systems ? I've managed to classify the thousands of affairs into four (very broad) categories. I'll reveal more later but I will tell you what type of cheater I was.
I was the escape artist variety - The largest group of cheaters reside in this catergory. The betryal is not pre-meditated (to an extent) but happens as a result of flawed judgement. Yeah, I'm talking about the "I was sooooo drunk - I had no idea what the hell I was doing" kind of excuse. Or - "I didn't think about what I was doing at all - I'm a tool. "
I would even say that I've known this group of cheaters to be unintended and uncharacteristic of underhanded behaviour but then again maybe all cheaters are the same and no cheater is worth defending. I'm certainly glad I've stopped my cheating ways. My self respect is so much better for it.
It's happened to me , I've read some logs of a msn conversation that I felt was "crossing the line" and I tell you all cheating feels the same - even if the guy thinks it's only a computer screen?
Denise is afraid her spouse will see spy software on their computer. She gets the KeyCatcher Mini Device which she can install easily in seconds with no software to install. She lets him type all evening then the next morning she takes the KeyCatcher over to her friend's computer and reads everything that her husband typed. She now has all his passwords and login names to do even more investigation.
It seems that's what all the other single dudes are doing and the amount of married men that hit me up over email about my profiles (still) shows me that infidelity is alive and well (thriving in some cases in our homes, under our noses)
Should a girl be worried if her husband of thirty years is clicking windows shut every time she walks into the room and she finds photos of other women in the recycle bin ?
Do you believe that people should have the option of spying on the person in question ie: installing a keylogger or spyware to record the details of his/her online activities?
Is it sensible to remove temptations, employ preventative measures such as move the computer in an open location (ie: in the loungeroom) and have clear boundaries on what is a friend online and a potential fantasy relationship. I learnt very early on it's impossible to fight against a fantasy or an addiction - that's why the internet can be so potent.
Are you more attractive online than in RL? Why?
how do you feel about installing a keylogger ? If you felt you had a gut feeling about a cheat, would you read her emails or read her mobile phone inbox? Have you ever read logs of a conversation that made you question the truth behind how real your "real life" really is ?
Email me NOW at firstname.lastname@example.org
I already have some great stories that will blow you mind, how sneaky some people get when it comes to flirting online. I'm also hoping for some success stories about how partners have overcome catching your partner out getting out of line - online.
Craig T. suspects his wife isn't going to the so-called Dr.'s appointment she says she is. Craig has to be at work on this day. He gets a GPS recording device, puts it in the trunk. He takes it for a test run so he knows it is working properly. Craig T. comes home from work and volunteers to wash the car. He takes the GPS out, takes it to work and plugs it into his computer. He sees the exact location on a street map and time of day where his wife was yesterday. He is surprised -- it is his best friend's condo.
Do you think this is just a little too Secret Service ?
I will also be posting a whole bunch of links and sharing my own experience with BF about online boundaries and how the internet no longer comes between us.
Send in your ideas and stories to be included in the expose !