A Note From The Writer

Welcome to the archived blog posts (when I was a wee blogger, wet behind the ears and not aware of spell check and various other gramatical structures!) I have kept the writings unedited or reworked as I am in the process of doing a massive rewrite of my entire life, many posts I have yet to publish and this blog was merely writing practise for the massive job of sorting out my emotions whilst retelling the story as cuttingly real and dramatic as the real memory was.. some of the posts contained are raw, streaming emotion.. many posts although painful to write, had a tremendously cathartic effect - cheaper than therapy one would say. I welcome new and old readers to keep in touch via my author email (sensualexplorersatHotmaildotcom) if you have any questions or wish to share the feelings and emotions raised by my work.
I will announce the publish date and title whenever it happens and I have been clean now for three years. It is possible.
But it is never easy. It's a lifelong journey, I will always be an addict, but I must stay one step ahead of myself and protect all that can be ruined in the eternal struggle to be
at ease once again, comfortable in this skin.
Thank you for being a part of my story.

Thursday, January 13, 2005


I survived !

I did it ! I had my root extraction yesterday and I feel wonderful today. I wish I got it done sooner now than have all the toothache pain. I know ! You all told me this !

I am really relieved I won't be living with that constant throbbing pain, I have stitches in my gums and it looks really gross though. Regardless, I'm just glad that I took my head out of the sand and started to deal with the neglect of doing hard drugs - it's harder and scarier than you think. Doctors scare me as I always worry they will find something else wrong with me (and yeah the pain plays a part as well!) but I think I am finally over it. I'm glad I went private, this way I was treated like a person not like a number. Not only was the dental technicial a "superfox" she was very skilled and spoke very softly. There was a lot of tugging but I just closed my eyes. I giggled when the spit vaccuum got caught lip and the needles were not an issue for me at all. Bf held my hand the whole time and drove me home and nursed me back to health. He is very nice, even carrying my pink handbag when I was in shock as I left the surgery. The shock part was the worst, felt very faint when it was all done - but not during.

Now hopefully I can go back on the Interferon tommorow and continue fighting against the Hep C. I am getting a virus count today so I am really hoping it did not return over Xmas. I actually managed to clear the virus from this treatment (which means that I am allowed to do it for a full twelve months fully compensated by the Government.) If the virus has resurfaced, then I will deal with this and try and keep positive. I am more confident since braving the dentist that I do have a say in my bodys health, with constant supervision and attention to my body (like going to check-ups and dealing with health issues) . I start work (part-time) in three weeks and resume study on Monday, so I will be writing Memoirs on the weekend. Work on the second blog has been delayed until I do my chores. Hee Hee. We are up 498 votes - nearly there !


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