A Note From The Writer

Welcome to the archived blog posts (when I was a wee blogger, wet behind the ears and not aware of spell check and various other gramatical structures!) I have kept the writings unedited or reworked as I am in the process of doing a massive rewrite of my entire life, many posts I have yet to publish and this blog was merely writing practise for the massive job of sorting out my emotions whilst retelling the story as cuttingly real and dramatic as the real memory was.. some of the posts contained are raw, streaming emotion.. many posts although painful to write, had a tremendously cathartic effect - cheaper than therapy one would say. I welcome new and old readers to keep in touch via my author email (sensualexplorersatHotmaildotcom) if you have any questions or wish to share the feelings and emotions raised by my work.
I will announce the publish date and title whenever it happens and I have been clean now for three years. It is possible.
But it is never easy. It's a lifelong journey, I will always be an addict, but I must stay one step ahead of myself and protect all that can be ruined in the eternal struggle to be
at ease once again, comfortable in this skin.
Thank you for being a part of my story.

Monday, January 10, 2005

It's Over

Hi Guys.

I'm pretty flat this morning. First things first, I have decided to pull us from the competition. I know some of you will be pissed - but you will get over it.
Stick It To The Man !

Update : greg hammond of California Hammond fame just donated 25 US to pay pal for my design fund. I won't be a tosspot and say no - as it is a very nice gesture that brought me to tears !!! Thanks greg. I assure you that I have no idea to add a paypal button.. but if anyone else wants to help.. then feel free to do so. I'm in australia - so that money is doubled @!!!!
London is tripled !!! No pressure to donate at all, by the way... I'm just excited that I may be able to do this !!!

I hate looking like a quitter but I can assure the BOB's and elements of the competition is not inspiring me at all. Fellow nominees have my best of luck. I'm not sure of an exact trigger just it was building for a long time.
I'm no politician - I'm a hippy!

You know the feeling you read a bad comment and you are thinking
No ! No! I was never about that ! Yeah well lately I have felt that more than I would like to.

All my life I have done things on my own and it suits me fine. I will find the money to do the layout as I know at the moment it letting my writing down. I don't need any more shame about my spelling either, I am very prone to it. I want to thank you for you consistent (sometimes manic) voting !
In my heart, your support efforts make me a winner right here at Heroinegirl Headquarters.

Right now , my treatment for Hep C has halted whilst I undergo dental repairs, namely the root of my tooth removed. I'm so phobic of dentists and doctors that I haven't slept properly, but I assure you that I am in good spirits about my decision. I know it will all work out ! I have much more to occupy my thoughts.
To be truthful, I have stopped tweaking because I am healing in many, many ways. As for the proofing of my site, I even get BF to go in and fix things up.
If anyone knows how to paste from word without getting those wierd squiggles in the contracted words, please let me know!

I'm stressed as it has been three weeks since I had my pen, under strict supervision by doctor's of course. I have to get the tooth out before they will allow me to resume otherwise my white blood cells will drop and it may become an issue (septic or something - sounded gross) So, I have to face my phobia, which is why my teeth are damaged in the first instance.

If I don't resume the injections, the virus will most likely return as I have only been on this since September 2004. I finish in September 2005. So, as you can see I don't need extra anxiety and I need to concentrate on making this site better for the bigger picture.

BOB was not fun anymore so why do it ? Vote for fat dude though... I dedicate all my votes to him as he went through drama as well. That will inspire me. He is a constant source of support and a great mate..

He is awesome and deserves to win...In fact they all do. Awards suck.
I agree with Tony Pierce... I write for my readers and that is enough.
It always will be.

We will get there ! From the gutter to the stars.... one blog at a time.

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