Why is this ( amazing live sea monkeys) all I ever wanted as a small child ? I still remember thrusting my Richie Rich Comic in Dad's face hitting with him with my best 'this is all I will ever ask for in the whole wide world if you just say yes' look.
"But DAAAAD it's only ONE CENT ! " I was obsessed with having these creatures.
( I notice now they are $1.25!) Dad gave my little comic a cursory glance, saw that it was American and therefore it had to be totally 'insane" and dangerous. (I had my own money anyway - fifty cents and some coins from when Poppy went to America - if you don't mind !)
"No - and same goes for the itching powder."
My mouth snapped shut. Damn!
However, now I'm considered an adult (ok - not quite the 'I like to pay my bills on time and I drive a car kind' - more the' I can do whatever I want because I live far away from my parents kind') Therefore I had the brainwave to google Amazing Sea Monkeys and saw to my utter devastation that they do NOT live in castles with faces and they look like this. Please explain?
Now excuse me for being so callous as I am sure this "sea monkey " has feelings too but that looks awfully like the lice that Mrs Brown pulled from Byron Wattley's bowl cut back in third grade. ( I also had nits if you have to know - but so did everybody) I suppose that someone is NOW going to tell me that XRAY sunglasses are not real too ? ( I still want these very badly as I have a few good uses for them - immediately, my email is to the left :-) I will trade you them for my fake vomit "thing" , a flat whoopie cushion and my trick black soap !
(May be broken and cannot be exchanged once posted)
But back to me (as always) and my quest in finding a concealable pet (preferably the size of my my fake Fendi) that is adorable and not boring . In fact being adept at keeping me company will be highly regarded as will pet's behaviour ; they must not destroy (real bunny) our rental unit or disturb my writing (piss and shit everywhere is also not an option no matter how cute) (can you believe he is homeless, where is your heart peoples ! ) I don't think I am either hip or happening enough for a mexican walking fish and BF said no to a dog or cat (feral cat)and a big fat "NO!" to this little guy (mouse) . That leaves my options pretty limited. You should know that I don't do feathers of any kind except maybe this one and even then I would still cover my face every time I walked past it. Birds do NOT like me. It's quite ok though because I don't like the way they like to poop, they are awake very early and going ra-na-racckaa kaaka and I especially do not like their feet. Imagine those buggers hooked into the end of your nose at three in the morning. Man I better talk about something else before I pee my pants as I really, really dislike birds.
There is always the exotic (bubbles and michael before he ditched him) this (baby moles) (wtf?) Keep in mind as well that I have quit drugs and my gothic days are behind me so this (scary ass rats) and this (insane snake man) and this (spider) is like so five years ago for me (also it's kinda wierd and freaky (snake kiss) at the same time.) Those rats are insane ! I do not feel the "cute"as they are the responsible for the highest number of human fatalities ever recorded - hardly endearing qualities as well as being the ideal vehicle for disease and germs. Yay.
But I am open to suggestions. I really want a cat. I had a cat once. Her name was Lovely Legs and she was a stray just like me and we hung out and she looked after me. Then a junkie "catsat" and didn't feed her as she spent the money on smokes so Lovely Legs dissapeared. ( hopefully to a good home)
I think now I am ready to approach being a mummy. I am quite excited !!
Love you all,
Any ideas welcome or just comment on maybe your own pet !