A Note From The Writer

Welcome to the archived blog posts (when I was a wee blogger, wet behind the ears and not aware of spell check and various other gramatical structures!) I have kept the writings unedited or reworked as I am in the process of doing a massive rewrite of my entire life, many posts I have yet to publish and this blog was merely writing practise for the massive job of sorting out my emotions whilst retelling the story as cuttingly real and dramatic as the real memory was.. some of the posts contained are raw, streaming emotion.. many posts although painful to write, had a tremendously cathartic effect - cheaper than therapy one would say. I welcome new and old readers to keep in touch via my author email (sensualexplorersatHotmaildotcom) if you have any questions or wish to share the feelings and emotions raised by my work.
I will announce the publish date and title whenever it happens and I have been clean now for three years. It is possible.
But it is never easy. It's a lifelong journey, I will always be an addict, but I must stay one step ahead of myself and protect all that can be ruined in the eternal struggle to be
at ease once again, comfortable in this skin.
Thank you for being a part of my story.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Trick Black Soap & Other Childhood Dreams.

Why is this ( amazing live sea monkeys) all I ever wanted as a small child ? I still remember thrusting my Richie Rich Comic in Dad's face hitting with him with my best 'this is all I will ever ask for in the whole wide world if you just say yes' look.

"But DAAAAD it's only ONE CENT ! " I was obsessed with having these creatures.
( I notice now they are $1.25!) Dad gave my little comic a cursory glance, saw that it was American and therefore it had to be totally 'insane" and dangerous. (I had my own money anyway - fifty cents and some coins from when Poppy went to America - if you don't mind !)
"No - and same goes for the itching powder."

My mouth snapped shut. Damn!

However, now I'm considered an adult (ok - not quite the 'I like to pay my bills on time and I drive a car kind' - more the' I can do whatever I want because I live far away from my parents kind') Therefore I had the brainwave to google Amazing Sea Monkeys and saw to my utter devastation that they do NOT live in castles with faces and they look like
this. Please explain?
Now excuse me for being so callous as I am sure this "sea monkey " has feelings too but that looks awfully like the lice that Mrs Brown pulled from Byron Wattley's bowl cut back in third grade. ( I also had nits if you have to know - but so did everybody) I suppose that someone is NOW going to tell me that XRAY sunglasses are not real too ? ( I still want these very badly as I have a few good uses for them - immediately, my email is to the left :-) I will trade you them for my fake vomit "thing" , a flat whoopie cushion and my trick black soap !
(May be broken and cannot be exchanged once posted)

But back to me (as always) and my quest in finding a concealable pet (preferably the size of my my fake Fendi) that is adorable and not
boring . In fact being adept at keeping me company will be highly regarded as will pet's behaviour ; they must not
destroy (real bunny) our rental unit or disturb my writing (piss and shit everywhere is also not an option no matter how cute) (can you believe he is homeless, where is your heart peoples ! ) I don't think I am either hip or happening enough for a mexican walking fish and BF said no to a dog or cat (feral cat)and a big fat "NO!" to this little guy (mouse) . That leaves my options pretty limited. You should know that I don't do feathers of any kind except maybe this one and even then I would still cover my face every time I walked past it. Birds do NOT like me. It's quite ok though because I don't like the way they like to poop, they are awake very early and going ra-na-racckaa kaaka and I especially do not like their feet. Imagine those buggers hooked into the end of your nose at three in the morning. Man I better talk about something else before I pee my pants as I really, really dislike birds.

There is always the
exotic (bubbles and michael before he ditched him) this (baby moles) (wtf?) Keep in mind as well that I have quit drugs and my gothic days are behind me so this (scary ass rats) and this (insane snake man) and this (spider) is like so five years ago for me (also it's kinda wierd and freaky (snake kiss) at the same time.) Those rats are insane ! I do not feel the "cute"as they are the responsible for the highest number of human fatalities ever recorded - hardly endearing qualities as well as being the ideal vehicle for disease and germs. Yay.

But I am open to suggestions. I really want a cat. I had a cat once. Her name was Lovely Legs and she was a stray just like me and we hung out and she looked after me. Then a junkie "catsat" and didn't feed her as she spent the money on smokes so Lovely Legs dissapeared. ( hopefully to a good home)
I think now I am ready to approach being a mummy. I am quite excited !!

Love you all,

Any ideas welcome or just comment on maybe your own pet !


K said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
K said...

hedgehog! http://texashedgehog.tripod.com/Buddha.jpg

HeroineGirl said...

wow, that is so cute.
I don't think our country would let him in though becuase he has sharp hair and I would need to pay like a gazillion dollars. We have native echidnas though, but they are protected and hate people.
More ideas !

I am getting a pet for xmas seeing I am ready for some responsibilty ! I will settle for a Penthouse Pet though, one that likes lap dancing and being naked all the time.

Dacia said...

I will be your pet. I promise I won't get too cranky as long as you feed me dark chocolate and ham sandwiches. And I'll dance around naked (not sexy, more spazzy) and squish my boobs on your cheeks.

HeroineGirl said...

This does sound very attractive !
I am hoping you are toilet trained though and don't bite the visitors on the leg?

darling maggot said...

ah yes. amazing live sea monkeys. yeah i was a little luckier and actually got a set. i was surprised to find they didn't look at all like sea monkeys or whatever the drawings were. they're brine shrimp. fish food. crustaceans. lol

when they get bigger and longer they look awful. i do like watching them when they just hatch, though. they're these tiny dots that dart around.

you can drink them with a straw.

HeroineGirl said...

You just had to rub it in that you actually got your very own Amazing Sea Monkeys.
There is always one in a group that had the cool parents that got them everything ( including furby dolls, slush puppie machines and those talking education dolls ) and now we see who this is.
Thank you, very much Darling Maggot. *said with sarcasm

I really think you should invest in those XRAY glasses.
Those are da shit !

HeroineGirl said...

If anyone else wants to tell me that had sea monkeys then get it out. I know you want to.
I am also interested in what was your favorite toy and why ( AS A CHILD !) and what age.

Goodness. See what I deal with ..

Mine was without a doubt, the mini supermarket. This beast of a toy was in the corner of my room , and had replica little tins of beans and campbells soup. I had a bling bling cash register and real little boxes. I had this toy when I was living with my real mum and I was very spoilt, it was a REAL treat and when I went to live with Dad, it got left behind. Mum only sent teddies (BORING)
After that, I did *heart* my Jem "It's showtime Synergie" Barbie-Doll.
Starts singing the Song with Glam Actions ;

Jem ! Wow !
She's truly outrageous.
Truly , Truly,Truly Outrageous.
Whoooooaaa JEM !
*does a little starjump at the end*

Thank you, I will be here all week.
Have you tried the fish?



Greg said...

No way - i want a refund on my childhood comic reading time. I remember reading the advertisements and thinking how cool - i want some. Ripped off.

shadowx said...

No way!! I had a Jem doll, too. I loved that doll to pieces! I also loved Rainbow Brite. My main love was Barbie, though. It was always Barbies, Barbies, Barbies with me. I had the clothes (though a lot of times my family was too poor to afford Barbie new clothes so the poor girl had to make her own), and cars, and sometimes furniture. I hardly ever stopped playing with my Barbies, and always had at least 10 on hand to play with.

I love cats, so I would say get one and train it well. But, another good option I've always loved is a teddy bear hamster. They're so sweet, and fuzzy. Not at all like rats. They won't bite, and low-maintinence. It's a thought.

Garrison Steelle said...

I'm the world's worst pet owner, so I'm quite sure I'm not the person to ask ...

though, among previous suggestions, Dacia's sounds the best ... If you wont' take her I will. ;)


sarajb said...

I had a macro-matic knitting machine. You loaded in yarn, attached to a bunch of hooks, then started cranking. It was cool, but the instructions were complicated, so all I could ever make were tubes.

There was this other odd game, a chain reaction thing called Cascade that was a blast. Basically, you set up the pieces using a blueprint or made up your own (my favorite pieces were the three little trampolines that sounded like kettle drums when they were hit) and launched steel balls with the provided steel ball launcher (of course) one, two or three, successively. There was a goal, but I don’t remember it. Maybe to get them in a basket. I loved shrinky-dinks, too. 10 yrs old?

Pets - http://www.cheekychinchillas.com/ ??

Toxic Angel said...

Wow there are some really great suggestions for pets...

I had a friend who was a terrible pet owner so he got Sea Monkeys. He was more proud of these than anything else, then one night while really drunk he knocked the little plastic tank over and got sea monkeys covering his lap. It was a tragic end and he got no more pets. Unless you count his Chiapet.

I think the idea of a teddy bear hamster is good. I had one of those growing up and his name was Fronc. They're really people friendly and too cute when you put them in those little balls and they run around everywhere bounching off stuff :)

I also had a fire-bellied newt for awhile whose name was Beauregard and he was cute and I loved him. He would walk across my hands for hours if I let him. And if I didn't play with him often enough he would pretend he was dead in his tank. Seriously. He would float on top of the water part and you'd have to poke him to check if he was still alive and when he felt he had your attention he'd start all moving up against the glass wanting to be taken out. :P

Brandie said...

I had all manner of pets as a kid... dogs, cats, turtles (stinky), frogs... we even had some hamsters, although Mom got rid of them when one of them had babies and then started eating them. Very scary to watch when you're 8, lemme tell you.

I'm actually going to get a hamster again when I go home for Christmas. We're only allowed to have rodents or fish in the dormitory, and I want a pet dammit!

Oh, and my favorite toys as a kid were the My Little Ponies. I freaking loved them. I had a ton of them and I used to braid their hair and be all silly and girly... sigh. I wanna be a kid again!

Michael said...

Stop blogging this moment and write a book. You must, must must write a book. Don't let another moment slip away.

You have talent that transcends.

Kicking Bitch said...

My Little Pony, Jem, Rainbow Brite (but I couldn't have Rainbow herself, I had to have her yellow friend because Mom didn't want me to buy into "popularity" or some shit like that). I always wanted a Glow Worm but I was told that it would keep me awake at night and so I couldn't have one. My parents were clueless about bed time, they still complain about it. Idiots.

Anyway. I wanted a hedgehog, but I hear they sleep like 23 hours a day.
I had pet mice for a while and had a lot of fun with them, however the life expectancy is a little heartbreaking.
Had a bird from the age of 6 to 16. Had some fish, too.
Now I have a cat that has an attitude problem.
Will get a puppy when the cat dies.

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