A Note From The Writer

Welcome to the archived blog posts (when I was a wee blogger, wet behind the ears and not aware of spell check and various other gramatical structures!) I have kept the writings unedited or reworked as I am in the process of doing a massive rewrite of my entire life, many posts I have yet to publish and this blog was merely writing practise for the massive job of sorting out my emotions whilst retelling the story as cuttingly real and dramatic as the real memory was.. some of the posts contained are raw, streaming emotion.. many posts although painful to write, had a tremendously cathartic effect - cheaper than therapy one would say. I welcome new and old readers to keep in touch via my author email (sensualexplorersatHotmaildotcom) if you have any questions or wish to share the feelings and emotions raised by my work.
I will announce the publish date and title whenever it happens and I have been clean now for three years. It is possible.
But it is never easy. It's a lifelong journey, I will always be an addict, but I must stay one step ahead of myself and protect all that can be ruined in the eternal struggle to be
at ease once again, comfortable in this skin.
Thank you for being a part of my story.

Friday, December 31, 2004


Hee hee ! I couldn't help myself - I'm at an internet cafe blogging away like a true addict.
I miss writing when I don't do it - but it is really nice to spend time reading and rooting !!
Not at the same time. I just got my hair done too and it looks swish and fab and I have a new dress for tonight, plus I am totally and absolutely in love with this man.
*Cue gushy stuff - guys you might want to watch some sports*

Tonight is my anniversary celebrating meeting the love of my life.
Three years ago we made a commitment to triumph in life and somehow we juggle the tangle of missed opportunity and random luck whilst enjoying a passionate love for each other. So far..So good. You see from the very first seconds I knew..how easily it could be to fall in love with you.
Then when I got sick you just smiled and made me smile again too. It's beyond words - how generous you have been with your second chances and understanding of my past and my uncertain futures. You gave me a whole new reason to move forward and together we have the best and the worst of times - but we are the team to end all teams.
Be my best friend forever ?

It's a beautiful thing when you share a secret language of love that transends into sheer love of all things sacred - the curve of your neck and the kisses that blossom like butterflies and the bright white of your teeth as you smile - it's just that good. In the sway of the love song, the glow of the candlelight.. we reach for each other hands in the same warm blessing.
It's all about us tonight ...

How many times have you wiped away my tears, clung to my embrace, wined and dined
and danced and caressed me - endless. How many times have we gone banana's, giggled over who plays playstation better, you inject my medicines with such care and I give the best back rub in return. You always fluff my pillows and let me have all the fan on me.
You love reality tv as much as me and you can't buy clothes without knowing if it's flattering.
I have seen your self confidence blossom as you rejoyce in my endless security of love and real understanding. We are not perfect - but getting closer to it with every day we learn something new. I will never settle for anything less and it was you that made me feel like that by teaching me to love myself again. It's bigger than us now - our future is bright and empowered with each other.Every single day is a joy living with you by my side. Baby, I have given in tonight , I'm helplessly in love with you.

Happy Anniversary Darling


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