I am feeling so good !
The best I have felt in like..months !
Heroinegirl is back on the mend, fighting fit and coming out swingin.
Just check out my highscores baby ;)
The Little One's mother came over today and tried to talk me into leaving town.
Hillarous. For the first time ever, I stood up for what I believe in.
That thing is called love, and for the first time it really is true.
I am totally and utterly in love, more than ever before !
I am so proud of myself that I dug myself out of that horrible ditch of gloom and doom.
The girls are still not able to come over mind you, but I am actually NOT taking it personally. I have decided to seperate how others feel about my past and how I feel about myself. If never the twain shall meet , then it is sad , but life is sad.
Amazing for me, as I am one of those people who always cares way too much about what others think. It started in highschool and tailed me home.
I don't think this is what she wanted to hear !
She didn't want to know that all this drama about custody and the evils had actually made me more stronger and happier than ever to be clean ! She seemed really taken aback with my renewed zest for life and it was actually quite sad to watch her throw things at me to bring me down. After I had said my points, I culled the conversation and finally knew, when to walk away. I don't have to take it. I don't have to listen to just anybody anymore about how I can fix my life. I have earnt it, well in truly. Now it is time to stop proving - time to start living.
I simply explained I had survived much worse than she could ever throw and I think in the persuit of being clean, I put too much emphasis on trying to fit in with what people want of me now, as a clean person. It is like I always have to prove myself , but that is my issue and slowly but surely I am learning.
Then I said that most girls never got on with ex-wifes anyway, that she is his past and I accept that, but I have a future with my partner now and that is what is most important. As long as we are together then everything really is ok.
Well ..you could practically see her witches boots leave skidmarks on the driveway.
Yep today I finally found my feet and hit the highscore page.
Heroinegirl 1 Hell Ex Woman of Darkness 0
I am learning that the main person you do need to please, is yourself.
I feel so guilty , even typing that. I give so much all the time , that I sometimes wonder if there is anything left for me. It is a real skill to learn to give freely, but an even harder one - is to know when to hold back.
When to know that someone is just Playing the Games we like to play and beating them at it - and even though it is hard and you think it is game over - have faith for the end in sight , because everyone knows in the final sequence , the climax and the crunch - it's always the good guys that win.