A Note From The Writer

Welcome to the archived blog posts (when I was a wee blogger, wet behind the ears and not aware of spell check and various other gramatical structures!) I have kept the writings unedited or reworked as I am in the process of doing a massive rewrite of my entire life, many posts I have yet to publish and this blog was merely writing practise for the massive job of sorting out my emotions whilst retelling the story as cuttingly real and dramatic as the real memory was.. some of the posts contained are raw, streaming emotion.. many posts although painful to write, had a tremendously cathartic effect - cheaper than therapy one would say. I welcome new and old readers to keep in touch via my author email (sensualexplorersatHotmaildotcom) if you have any questions or wish to share the feelings and emotions raised by my work.
I will announce the publish date and title whenever it happens and I have been clean now for three years. It is possible.
But it is never easy. It's a lifelong journey, I will always be an addict, but I must stay one step ahead of myself and protect all that can be ruined in the eternal struggle to be
at ease once again, comfortable in this skin.
Thank you for being a part of my story.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

It's A Long Way To The Top


Greetings lovelies

I emailed
Belle today as I miss her tremendously , both her person and the luscious contributions to "the movement" and female bloggerism in general. Belle was definately the key factor in this blog's conception. I am definately aspiring to be published ( no coyness will be found here ) I know exactly what I want to do when I grow up - I want to be a writer. I love HeroineGirl and I also know that I will always have plenty of material - such is life. I would rather be paid to blog/write ( I don't really have affinity with the term "Blog" and all it's variants ) than be embarrased about how much time I spend writing my memoirs.Yes, I confess unashamedly that rather than have to maintain a diet, consisting solely of cold cheeseburgers and flat lemonade, I could be on a pink powder puff and writing my memoirs in some very fancy lingerie whilst popping belgian choclate into my smug little trout.

However, I do know the road is long and well travelled and I must admit, other blogs are way more awesome. (I know this because I just read some great ones today) I know I shouldn't compare ..but I always have been a naughty little jerk ~smiles~ then le sighs ;)

Due to my 'airy- fairy -quite - contrary manner ' , I am seriously contemplating leaving my current office job for a little while. I am lucky in that I have excellent managerial support and collegues that are appreciative of my delicate medical situation and after a few heartfelt disclosures on my behalf, I think we are moving towards leaving The Job and finding something more "creative" and "people orientated". Does that preclude photoshopping dramatic gothic pictures and sharing them in blogger with millions - I wonder ?
What will I do at home all the time ? I will write of course and definately study the art. Will I drive you all crazy with this constant talking to myself? I am beggining to feel like Carrie Bradshaw - minus all the cool couture and Manolo's. Of course, it could all go terribly pearshaped, but I would rather be bewildered with trying than not trying at all. Plus , I think that I could find something better for me "The Fairy". Maybe I could start a babysitters club up again - that was so big in the eighties and I did I mention I am great with kids?

I rang Social Security today (only on hold for 25 seconds) and was curtly advised that my entitlement would be the princely sum of "Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Dollars and Six Cents." Fortnightly.
Um.. Hello peoples - do the math - That sucks BIG TIME DONKEY DOODLE !

I spend that amount on expensive cheese and overseas fashion mags alone.

Not only do I want my cable, magazine and dvd habits to be catered for ( internet access is key - I mean how can I look for blogs err I mean jobs) I also have to pay off the "correspondance" course on Counselling that mocks me from my bookcase, I also have debts associated with my time being a junkie. Thousands of dollars there. Then of course, we have the usual food requirement and sundries. I AM GOING TO DIE! I am going to be massively poor as in " I am such a sad piece of crap and only eat tinned food (cold) kind of poor. What if I have to settle for renting a home ( gasp) with ...wheels ? ( faints)

I know exactly how I could earn money, I know exactly how I should earn money.
One way is to go forward and one way is to go backwards. Crossroads.
Kind of like monopoly.
Anyone got a spare get of jail free card ?

Memoir to come.


Rich Rosenthal II said...

Another neat piece of artwork. This your creation?

darling maggot said...

i have no idea what living expenses are like in brisbane but in california, unemployment nets you about 400 a week and that's barely enough for a small, ratty studio, food and utilities. 365 for 2 weeks is insane.

can you do work part-time, a couple days a week, then have the social services make up the rest?

deanne said...

Forwards, HG, move forwards!

no_more_pills said...

HG said: I know exactly how I could earn money, I know exactly how I should earn money.

got to pay rent, bills, food, medical care ... if you escort, be safe, save the $, stay off the H. Spend on the necessities while you look for a job you'd prefer. Amsterdam&NYC Escorts make enough to permanently retire in a year but not if they want a closet full of $800 shoes. not if they have a six-figure habit. It's hard not spending it once you've make it.

clearly my opinion is biased.

Kim said...

I had a working girl tell me once that for her the only thing harder than the first time was having the last client be the final client.

Please think carefully about your ability to keep the work and the H separate.

With love and in support


HeroineGirl said...

Yeah I am not going backwards, I think I am going to work on writing and making the real dreams come true, living for me - and all that delicousness.
Onwards and Upwards,

Micha Lindsey said...

There might be more out there but I totally suggest (if you haven't already) checking out a school like this: www.aftrs.edu.au

I'm going to a similar school here in Vegas and I L-O-V-E it!!! I'm learning how to write screenplays...

There's alot to get out of some artistic schooling...

Just something to think on, let me know what ya say about it.


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