A Note From The Writer

Welcome to the archived blog posts (when I was a wee blogger, wet behind the ears and not aware of spell check and various other gramatical structures!) I have kept the writings unedited or reworked as I am in the process of doing a massive rewrite of my entire life, many posts I have yet to publish and this blog was merely writing practise for the massive job of sorting out my emotions whilst retelling the story as cuttingly real and dramatic as the real memory was.. some of the posts contained are raw, streaming emotion.. many posts although painful to write, had a tremendously cathartic effect - cheaper than therapy one would say. I welcome new and old readers to keep in touch via my author email (sensualexplorersatHotmaildotcom) if you have any questions or wish to share the feelings and emotions raised by my work.
I will announce the publish date and title whenever it happens and I have been clean now for three years. It is possible.
But it is never easy. It's a lifelong journey, I will always be an addict, but I must stay one step ahead of myself and protect all that can be ruined in the eternal struggle to be
at ease once again, comfortable in this skin.
Thank you for being a part of my story.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Constant Craving

HeroineGirl Feels Guilty for No Memoir..
But no one goes home a loser..here is a little wee piccy of me
( No I am not weeing , I meant in terms of size !) This picture is very HeroineGirl, very broody and very melodramatic and quite amatuer - yes much like my layout I know !!.
I am serious when I say how bung my webcam is. This photo is 8kbs.
This is my "I wanna kiss your face off" look.

Mainly, I like to photograph people and posers and because everyone I know in RL are soo self concious or just phobic of me getting them naked and in a nice light so I can "capture" the fragility of the human soul - I simply adore black and white for this reason. It is just so sexy. Anyhow all this artsy fartsy stuff aside it normally boils down to me taking lame pics of myself . Instead of drugs and all that junk I think photography is an outlet that I like to do when I get in certain moods , I find it very relaxing to take pictures. It is like meditation , it teaches you to look beyond the imperfections and draw out the beauty of the photograph with the person serving as the canvas.. and as I thought that ...I took this shot.



Anonymous said...

So do I count as ugly, or self-conscious?

Both, probably. Some of us weren't built with your bone structure, honey.

I think you know who this is. I'll give you a clue: "The Wicked Witch from the West".

I don't think I've ever seen a bad photo of you, and I miss our chats. But ah well, you get that. I read your blog sporadically these days... this just happened to be the latest post so you get a comment!

HeroineGirl said...

Self concious !

Definately ! I would love to photograph you.
Ok I have no ugly friends, but that is not cos I am not shallow *blush* Rather case in point.

darling maggot said...

haunting and haunted. cool pic. why don't you get a real camera, sheila, and grace us with some full colour glory? :P

Eddie said...

Yes, it is me, and yes i fuck around in a lot of places! I think I'll be joining you guys whenever I can between school and work, and telling you guys of my new experiences every saturday on the night before's journey.

I hope you won't mind, and if you do (heroinegirl and darlin' maggot) then i'll stick my head in my own blog and you'd never hear from me again. But I promise if you want me to stay, I'll bring a burning disco flame from my fabulous young years in new york city. i'll be at zisk.blogspot.com. The power is yours!

I always wanted to get into photography. You've got a real eye for it, or maybe it's just your beauty ( the just isn't just a just if you get what im gettin at =)). Im a sucker for contrast. My school is right by the hudson river, overlooking the jersey miniature skyline. Sometimes, during my freshman and sohpomore years of high school I would go there with my then-girlfriend and always gaze at the gathering clouds or rain in the distance and wish that I had a camera with me. It's one of the pluses of going to my school. Some "good" school, but i think it's all a bunch of crap. Anyway heroinegirl, i wish i knew what to call you other than that but that may come with time. Anxiously anticipating more :)

darling maggot said...

read and post away, zisk--on mine at least.

BUT--i must insist you use the word asian instead of oriental...asians are the people, orientals are the rugs. lol

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. »