A Note From The Writer

Welcome to the archived blog posts (when I was a wee blogger, wet behind the ears and not aware of spell check and various other gramatical structures!) I have kept the writings unedited or reworked as I am in the process of doing a massive rewrite of my entire life, many posts I have yet to publish and this blog was merely writing practise for the massive job of sorting out my emotions whilst retelling the story as cuttingly real and dramatic as the real memory was.. some of the posts contained are raw, streaming emotion.. many posts although painful to write, had a tremendously cathartic effect - cheaper than therapy one would say. I welcome new and old readers to keep in touch via my author email (sensualexplorersatHotmaildotcom) if you have any questions or wish to share the feelings and emotions raised by my work.
I will announce the publish date and title whenever it happens and I have been clean now for three years. It is possible.
But it is never easy. It's a lifelong journey, I will always be an addict, but I must stay one step ahead of myself and protect all that can be ruined in the eternal struggle to be
at ease once again, comfortable in this skin.
Thank you for being a part of my story.

Monday, September 06, 2004

The Butterfly Effect

***update on post Bees In Bonnets Part 2**

Have recieved apology of kinds from the Fuckhead of The Year.
I am taking his crown away after it was awarded under false pretences.
HG does not want to have to give this accolade out ever again.
Let us be done, sweet beauties with all this maliciousness and return to deliciousness.

Morning beautiful gorgeousness. ( That's to you, not to me)

Heroinegirl is going to be taking a new direction. Alas it is going to be more politically correct.
Seems some of my content puts people off thier lunch. That's not even mentioning my spelling and punctuation.

I'm not giving up , just picking up speed. Seems like I have to decide whether I want to have a hooker log or a junkie log. I am niether mind you. But I will let you decide !
As I know you will.

I cannot believe how easily people are scandalised. I have'nt even begun really! Someone emailed me and said was I relying on sexual content to get a bigger audience. Nope.
I just think it happened , so why not include it.

I must insist that I am not like anything ever experienced. I am a contradiction.
I am also wagging work again - but - (hear me out) I have enough monies to do so.
Where is biek? Everything has gone pearshaped darling !
I miss your daily comments ;)

Ok so more on trying to get what I am about . People seem confused.
ten things about me.
1. I don't drive a car but I am going to start taking driving lessons soon. I am scared of cars they seem like spaceships. ( see my dillemma) Then I am going to live in my car and drive around crazy. I mean live as in cushions and cooktops.
Hmm. What about internet access though?

2. I don't use heroin, or any other drug at all. I don't smoke dope or ciggarettes. I gave up smoking cos I hated hunching outside on the steps as BF doesn't smoke and doesn't want the house to smell. I don't judge people that do.

3. I look stupid in hats.

4. Every week I change what I want to be when I grow up. Last week, Taekwondo Instructor, Singer, Writer, Counsellor, Jessica Simpson's Stylist ( which is her mum incidently) This week , Assassin, Superhero, Singer, Music Director and Radio Jock ( it is only monday though)

5. My unfinished degree is in education. I also speak fluent japanese and have travelled throughout. I am also doing a correspondance course in counselling. This is taking its sweet time.

6. I have a healthy sex life and a lovely home life. The BF makes dinner, irons clothes and makes the coffee's. I compensate by giving pedicures, doing his hair just right, always being the spoon at night, telling him and showing him everyday that he is the best person to ever live.
I also annoy him too. I often wake him at one o clock in the morning to discuss something arcane he mentioned earlier that I have worked into total mismeaning.

7. I love dancing and I love music. People say * cough* I am a good dancer. I think so too. lol.
I am not so good with sport. I am a bookworm, I don't sweat either.
But I do have tear ducts.

8. Im a taurus so I love food and I am extremely down to earth and loyal. My close people call me magical, to myself I am the reason to keep going. I love being me.

9. I love going to the movies and free stuff. I get to do that a lot due to my BF occupation ;)

10. My blog is a new idea. My writing style will get better - I'm just adjusting !

Thanks for your support


Biek said...

Morning beautiful gorgeousness. (That's to you ;-)

Wow! No need to worry HG I'm right here. The 'problem' is that my home ADSL modem has kaboomed on me so all internet I now have is at work. This means I tend to be a little slow with replying at some days. But I haven't left you, it will take a hell of a lot more for that to happen, trust me!

I liked your 10 points on what you're about so I filled out my own to give you a (slight) idea of me too.

Here goes:

1. I do drive a car and it's just about smaller than your wall closet (and if you don't have one I'm sure you can imagine the space it takes up) so mine doesn't feel like a space ship. sure would love to have one tough ... hmm

2. At the moment all I use is some Paracetamol for my headaches and some other thingie (looks and tastes like Smarties) that I have now I have back problems. They only take away most of the pain so I don't stress other muscles or so I'm told.

3. Same here, and also when I simply wear them ;-)

4. *grin* I have that same thing, but usually like after a movie. Normally tough I just would 'just' really like to be a race car driver. No need to be a Schumacher type but just let me earn what I do now only doing it with racing. If only ... (Biek dreaming off again ... be right back ...)

Ah, I'm back in 'this' world ...

5. After I took the basics in technical school I started working with my dad. After 5 years (or five weeks depending on the mood I'm in when you ask me) we found out it didn't work. At all. Then I all of a sudden found myself in IT and been doing that ever since. I'm mainly on support engineer level because love working with people and helping them out all day. it just never get's boring. Simply great!

6. I have the tendency to fall into them single sided relationships so I guess I'm just between them at the moment. who knows ... bare with me, I'll get over that someday ;-)

7. Music is one of my hobbies too, but you won't find me on the dance floor unless I'm totally drunk. And since I'm not drinking any alcoholic drinks the chance on that is remote. However at my sisters wedding I had a quick dance with my niece but only because she asked me very nicely and they were playing my all-time favorite 80's record so I think that don't count ;-)

8. I'm an archer (I actually have no idea what sign that is in English, even though I believe my English usually is pretty good ... help me out here. What's it called ... Sagi-something?) but also love food (pasta's, and pizza are my only bad habit uch uch :-) and I'm pretty easy going and very loyal too. People like talking to me, I'm a great listener they say ...

9. My movie watching is mainly done at home in my own home cinema of which I'm somewhat proud, not bragging proud of course :P I do like the theaters but I'm always to late so miss the movies I'd like to see almost by default unfortunately. I suppose there are worse things in life.

10. I've been keeping a column with my old website starting in the end of 2001 but I quit when very good friend of mine passed away way too soon and at that time I really didn't like going on with it. Now when looking back I regret doing so because I know I had some pretty bad days and since I'm a person who forgets (or ignores) that kind of emotions quite fast I would have liked to have a way of reading back those thoughts. I've always been writing for myself mostly. I mean it's nice that some people take the time reading it but for me it's a way to remember me. May sound strange but like I said I forget things so easily that it's nice to have myself written down somewhere. And where better than right over here (or at my place for that matter ;-) so I can do so everywhere I like.

Whoops, I'm sorry I'm taking up loads of space here on your Blog ... Well anyway, I'll come by more often, I promise :-D

Have a nice day HG!

HeroineGirl said...

Ahhh the biekmiester returns.

Never worry about taking up blog space.
It is not like prime real estate.

You raise, as always, some very good points.
Did you read up on what the critics had to say?
I was thinking of quitting - I know a travesty to even say - Heroine Girl is ashamed that she dropped the Q bomb.

I feel much calmer your here - weird huh.
That's meeeeeeee :)

You need to sort out your internet though !
Internet is Key !
The lifeblood of dorks united.

I'm going to start posting more of my memoirs soon so need to go and find some writing music.

Byes HG

Biek said...

Hi there HG,

Whuuh help! Please please please don't quit, ever! (Pfew, goody that was close ;-)

You don't need to worry about me, I'll always be here. I'll even get me a analog modem again if that's what it needs (and if it takes too long I might even hook my old 56k6 one up again) so I can be on-line a bit more. No wait, I'll go over to my dads place and take his pc *grin*

It's specially in the evenings/weekends that I miss internet, because then I have a lot more time on my hands. Here at work I still manage to reserve some time off to browse around but sometimes I need to actually do something (I know, bummer eh?) and then the important stuff like reading your impressive work has to wait a bit. A shame, I know. Need to get my priorities straight ;-)

I read the remarks from those so called critics ... Those 'critics' need some critics to criticize on their critics ... erm ... well. Geez! They can be so wrong sometimes, or is it just us? (fingers crossed here ;-) It just doesn't seem to matter on what topic I run into them but from where I'm standing they're seldom right. Don't let them get to you HG, you're way better than that. After all you know exactly what your talking about, and they can only guess. (And as it seems they are not that good at it unfortunately)

Please keep it up Miss HG, 'cause you're darn good at it.

Loads of greetings from the Biekmiester ;-)

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