A Note From The Writer

Welcome to the archived blog posts (when I was a wee blogger, wet behind the ears and not aware of spell check and various other gramatical structures!) I have kept the writings unedited or reworked as I am in the process of doing a massive rewrite of my entire life, many posts I have yet to publish and this blog was merely writing practise for the massive job of sorting out my emotions whilst retelling the story as cuttingly real and dramatic as the real memory was.. some of the posts contained are raw, streaming emotion.. many posts although painful to write, had a tremendously cathartic effect - cheaper than therapy one would say. I welcome new and old readers to keep in touch via my author email (sensualexplorersatHotmaildotcom) if you have any questions or wish to share the feelings and emotions raised by my work.
I will announce the publish date and title whenever it happens and I have been clean now for three years. It is possible.
But it is never easy. It's a lifelong journey, I will always be an addict, but I must stay one step ahead of myself and protect all that can be ruined in the eternal struggle to be
at ease once again, comfortable in this skin.
Thank you for being a part of my story.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Take It From Wherever to Wherever You Are

Morning. Second day not at work ! Omg the faccarde of my corporate desire is falling away to reveal a pyjama clad, coffee sipping truant/blogger. BF is not impressed. Ex-cellent.
Not that I know what I'm doing ! All I know is I want to write for a living and I want to not work in an office of a multinational company. It's doing my head in.

Stop whinging though, I know. A big part of me is going through reams and reams of "supposedly inappropriate" avenues for revenues, that would allow me to write.
*exchange knowing looks here* I mean how many times have I heard this...

"You know it's just not part of reality that you earn that much money, you have to put a price on your diginity - sweetheart."
" So what exactly do you do (insert probing laser stare) and don't you feel dirty about touching Those Men and letting them put thier hands all over YOU (insert distasteful grimace here)

That's how I got into The Skyscraper where I toil/work. It has been so agonising. Sometimes I just feel like I'm there for the BF, The Stepmother and The Future. But not for the HeroineGirl.
How can I ever make it to be the Heroine of the story if I have " writers block" ie: no time and energy and inspiration to write. It's been seven months since I finished up in the sex industry.
In the meantime I have always felt that I am trying to prove I can fit into the society "mould".

So yes I went back to it after I quit the drugs. I was on a point to prove as the money was still good and I saved alot more the second time around.

But I also spent alot of time on The Internet - doom doom DOM ! I said I would write and I didn't. ( Sheepish face ) What can I say, my mainline is online. But this time will be different cos I just HAVE to do this. I also attempted to start a study-at-home course *looks guiltily at the dusty textbooks propping up my monitor. *blush*

I met the BF online , so he dismiss the whole "internet addiction" thing. He thinks I am addicted to the internet * Duun Duun Daaaa!* No, I'm just obsessed with creativity.
To his credit, he is very supportive of my dreams, why it was only four weeks after I met him that he flawlessly helped me detox. It was not pretty and I'm still amazed we did it. A wonderful story ( I will cover later in the story)

He wanted to be called WK in this blog. I'm like No One will get that.
And besides - you can't choose your own Blog-anon. It's just not cricket.
Besides , WK seems a bit like wanker - lol.
WK is White Knight, which yes he is - but you don't tell them that.
Ok well sometimes.

I'm going to shower and pretty myself up ! Must do my bit for hygiene.
The BF just purchased a home entertainment package and set it up for me to watch my movie today. I can't wait to hear the SuRrOuND SoUnD. Car doors slamming right near my ears and sirens all over the shop! It's the simple things in life that really are the best.
Like movies and butter popcorn and a day off work, leading into a weekend.
Then some praline chocolate.


Ok be back soon, you go fix a snack and I will meet you back in 20 ?



325hjhjhfsdf87897834jhf04 said...

I hope you become a succesful writer, by reading your blog I know you have great writing skills.

HeroineGirl said...

Thank you for the feedback meeow X
That's very sweet of you to say.
Now could I get you to convince the BF!

Just joking.

Thank you for the encouragement , I hope you get something out of HG - I think there is a hero or heroine in everyone of us.

Thanks a million

Biek said...

You do have a nice way with words HG, so looking from this end you're that writer allready :-)